● @ Tuesday, April 03, 2007 ●
well.. where shall i start? i was a lunatic last night. really nuttish. haha..
last fri night. i was havinga severe mood swing i suppose. i was so extremly aggrivated with my wireless internet. i tried getting onlien but the thing just doesn't seem to be able to find its way to teh internet. somehow or rather, the thing was just rather stupid on that for some apparent reason. my frustration was terrible to behold. i was aggitated towards it that my entire night was ruined. i was unable to do any work. but strangely enough, i had a sudden urged to sms chat with Ngai Jia Ming! haha..
and well, i must say that he saved my night slightly. after 2 sms's, he managed to distract me from my frustration. but.. he tempted me to go for band the following day as he's going for teh morning session one. i persuaded him to stay for the afternoon, and indeed he did. how sweet of him [: otehr than eating lunch with him, i managed to help in my clarinet section's sectionals! i enjoyed myself. i even managed to play the prestige clarinet again!! we played Mulan. although my playing has deproved and i wasnt able to catch up as easily as in teh past, playing that song has certainly brought back the fond memories of teh past and the music was wonderful. i enjoyed myself, trying to play as passionately as possible. i love it. (:
and about yesterday- monday night. i was having mood swings again. this time, it is for an extremly unsoundly cause. i broke down. lolx. i 'm feeling so ashamed of myself now. i felt so really stressed up with my studies that i ended up er.. crying. l0l. this sounds really dumb now. haha.. but honestly speaking, i felt extremly down beyond great measures, and i was unable to tolerate the stress any longer. i wasted one and a half hour of sadness. and shortly after that, i was happily doing geog tutorial. sounds like a raving lunatic me isn't it. haha..
i thought hat i will start being in the state of depression again but thankfully, i managed to get a grip on myself today and we ran!! i was glad that we are going to run today. in a way. cus i realised that exercising helps me to drown my sorrows. at least most of them. and i love it. so i was anticipating the run that we're to have today... and for teh first time, i diddnt stop a single time at all, throughout my 6 rounds around the IJ track! i am seriously amazed with myself. i wonder if its related to my determination to drive away my sorrows and negativity. haha.. and surprisingly, i passed. and i found myself being slightly let down when i missed the NAFA "silver award" by about 20 sec? which is gd! haha..
one last thing i want to add. i was feeling so troubled after the camp over this guy? i know this sounds mad but i always have this really insecure feeling that u're "chasing" a girl? but well, enough of my imaginations. just wana say that liking this guy is a realy tough expreience. its an agonising feeling. perhaps its due to the feeling of insecurity and uncertainity? it sounds really bad but thats the truth.
went out with celestine last sunday evening!! it was absolutely fabulous. too fun that i couldnt help recollecting the moments that we had, during lectures on mon!! i bought a make-up kit! for the first time!! so excited to put it on!! hahahaha! i also bought a top. off shoulder dress top. really happy that evening. reached home at ten. slept really late that night. so i was really lethargic on mon.. and teh worst part was that my mind kept drifting about the make-up kit? and whats even more mentally tiring is that i ended up having controversial qs for myself. lol. (told ya i love GP lol).i started asking myself why is is that girls needs to put make-up in teh first place? why put a layer of things on ur face to gain the confidence that u seek in? doesnt sound necessary isnt it. but the irony is that i've only started asking myeslf such qs, only after purchasing teh make-up kit. so.. okie. i have no comments to add, about my purchase on that.
in short, my work load is pilling up and so is my level of stress. but i dont find myself being multi-faceted (in a way) yet. so its gd. my lessons on mon and tue are ending at 5.40PM. thus is 2PM and wed fri are CCA days. goodness gracious. and i was still thinking of sleeping at 10.30PM, before collecting my timetable. what a fantasy huh. reach home at 7, sleep at 10.30. yea right. i wil be so freaking slack if that happens. actually thats my main concern.
i dont know why, but i find myself feeling so sleep deprived these few days? my mind is drifting in and out during lectures.. and i'm trying to suppress it! arghz. enought for today. cya!
anyway, i'm curious. is my blog so entertaining to read? i am mystified by the number of page views. i thought i'm really boring and luo suo? haha..
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