● @ Wednesday, March 28, 2007 ●
today marks teh end of my IJC leadership camp at Changi! i had great fun there. actually right, i am feeling freaking sian now. i typed so much, and its all gone. cus i pressed cntrl-A on the keyboard(highlight). then instead of pressing control-C to copy, i pressed control V (paste). so all is gone. haha. and i'm feeling extremly nauseas now. my head is spinning for goodness know what reason. nvm. shall finish this dam* post now. ok.
the camp was ok. it was fun. i enjoyed the water activities such that it had enticed me to start swimming as a leisure sport soon. camp fire was great, esp wuith those hilarious and creative ODAC guys.
actually i elaborated a lot on the camp earlier. but am too sick mentally and phycially to do that now. so i'm typing like siao now. wanting ito finish this post..
well... i was saying this halfway earlier: i regretted telling this guy abt my feelings? cus i supose that if i hadn't, i would not have been so sensitive, and would not be taking so much trouble not to look at him eye to eye. its really tiring. but whats mentally more challenging is that i was in deep thoughts half of the time, exploring my feelings. well. the ans is i duno. but i find him slightly flirtatious. something which i dont like? sigh. i guess the best guy on earth is always yOu.
now abt someone else. i find this guy very sickening. i cant helpe feeling this sense of dread when i see him or when he talks to me? i just find him a PERVERT. he needs to be more sensitive to teh fact that you cant just put your hand on a girl's back or shoulder for such a long time. i see no reason why that person has to do it la. my hair stood up really staright each time he place his hand on my back or shoulder, trying to steer me or direct me as though i'm a blind person. he only stopped the whoel thing when i told him off straight, in front of some ppl. cus some of tehm saw his hand there? and it was rather embarassing. he needs to learn la. next time a girl will slap him if isn't careful manz. haha.. so i just cant tolerate his face at the moement. and i cant believe my "luck" when i had to do an activity with him for abt 5 hours? arghz. absoultely bad luck. so i felt rather dismayed throughout the whoel activity.... :(
anyway, throughout the camp, i was just exploring my emotions over certain issues, and pondering the reason behind it. i kept wondering the reason why i'm feeling this way. i told him (not the person mentioned above la. but if u are reading, u know who u are la.) with a wry smile a few wks back that "i hate this feeling. i just hate it." and i certainly do.i kept wondering if this feeling will last but it looks like throughout this camp, it certainly does and i am slightly intolerant abt it. this thought has always failed not to dampen my spirits.
the otehr issue is myself. the issue over materialistic and something abt teh start of my prev entry. i guess the main root of all these is just this: the lack of confidence in one.
so there goes my quote: the mentality. the attitude.
i'm still feeling giddy. guess i've got to sleep now. lack of sleep during camp.
3.33PM
Savour Every Moment
