Well... Today is my birthday. 0831. :)

omg. i am like so busy now?! i wana type this entry before midnight today. i want it to be a long entry. i've also got to send a msg to teh msn grp. but... one friend is busy talking to me online, another busy chatting via sms, and i have to call my pri sch friend later since she wanted a chat. oh my god!! i'm feeling stressed. arghz. >.<

I slept at 2.3o am last night, rushing through the writing for the teacher's day cards. i did it last min. :( i wrote like a total of 4 pgs for Mrs J? waha. cus i added extra papers to teh card. =X and for mrs koh, i was realy rushing through it manz. cus i finished MJ card at 2am. i was forced to stay up late to check teh final ppt that nadiah and zekai was making, for mrs jacob's teacher's day gift cd. actually its not really forced, but i wasn't given much choice since i was the one who had this idea. :(

but when i woke up this morning, i wasn't that tired. but neitehr was i excited. cus i found out yesterday (30/8) that teh Clarinet section forgot about my b'day as usual. i was quite disappointed? im fact, i was v disappointed with them; esp with Hamimah who is the SL. cus its a custom for the sect to celebrate ppl's b;day, esp the seniors one. i just duno how to express my disappointment with the section. i just find it hard trying to forgive them as they forgot abt my b;day last yr too.. and in fact i had nothing for my b'day lor.. and LF criticised them la.. haha.. making me feel better. ahah.. so.. i have nothing to say abt the section. too disappointing lor.

that was why i wasn't looking forward to my b'day actually.. cus i went sianx diao yest. but today proved to be better than my expectation. although i've received much less presents this year than last yr (w/o Jia Ming- he's in NS, haiyu (she hates me?), lyefong (u ask her lor..), mary (she's friends with haiyu and we aren't tt close) and some other ppl.. ya. also jensen.). in short.. my umber of presents is halved lor. kinda disappointing but its expected la. haha. so i tried to look on the brighter side.

so here goes:

- Samantha- a ring - Celestine- a golden notebook with a teddy bear chain (its nice!) - ginny- a pair of beige flower ear rings =) - kah eng- a purple purse (i was so touched that he gave me something~!! cus i gave him b'day present yest, not expecting anything from him. honest. i just wana show my gratitude towards him, for teaching me chi early this yr) - mingyan- Precious Moments key chain, badges and sweets!! Precious Moments lei! The sweets costed $3.50 (she forgot to take out teh price tag) and that's really expensive, considering tt there's only abt 20 sweets? and her letter to me is so touching!! - radhia- zipper pull (i wante dto buy it for myself since last yr. ) - tanshin- necklace (prev post). - class b'day card lor.. er.. only 25 ppl wrote. haha. and all the remarks were v mediocre and boring? ya. except my freinds like celes, ginny, sq and lyefong. other than tt, the whoel class comments all v v boring. haha. cus last yr one was v interesting..... tts why.

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hmm.. much fewer presents than last yr right.. :( i wanted to have them numbered but i later changed it to pointer form to make myself feel better. well.. i reflected and i felt tt its cuslast yr, jia ming gave me something ma.. the person u adore gives u sth.. obviously u'll be happy right. but now that i liek no one, hmm.. things looks v boring. haha.

my day is quite nice. teacher's day celeb was nice due to the Tanglin idol. it was all quite hilarious. :) after tt ginny and i searched for the teachers. we stayed back till about 11 plus almost 12pm.. and when teh whoel sch was so silent with teachers leaving teh sch, the only classroom that is packed with students is.... Mrs Olivia Jacob's room. she has a class of 2A 03' group of students... and outside queeing up is a grp or alumni liek abt 20 of them in total? and this is abt 11 plus to 12? she's just so popular manz......

i passed her my ow present to her. and after tt, i passed her 2e2 04' present, consisting of a red cactus,a scrapbook plus a CD. much effort is taken by us manz.... and the moment she saw teh cactus she asked "this is from who?" "It's so nice!!". she said "its so nice!!" with so much enthusiasm that it really made me happy. she said she woudl be placing it in her class. :) i hope so. :) and i took a pic with her after tt! but i dun look great in teh pic la.. haha..

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Following that, ginny, celestine, samantha, Benjamin and I went to Orchard Cinnelesiure to catch a movie titled Click. It is so... touching and hilarious! :) All of us cried except Ben. it talks about husbands havinga higher priority of their career, over their family. With this theme on family, they elaborate and as you know.. such matters are matters of the heart and will hence make e viewers emotional lor.. haha

what i find most interesting and reflective in this movie is about this protagonist who has made used a universal remote controller, which can control his life. well.. he was able to fast-forward his time, to his preference. At the start, he fast-forwarded any period of tiem wghen he's travelling, when he's having relationship problems and business problems. and after doing this for some time, teh controller automatically fast-forwarded his time every tiem when he faces a difficult scenario, relationship problems or social meetings which he disliked.

Basically, at teh start of teh story, he abused the controller to skip all the unhappy and dreadful events. but in the end when teh controller does it automatically for him w/o allowing him to reverse time, this protagonist is anxious for problems and he desperately tries to find ways toface his problems again? ridiculous as it sounds but he was indeed desperate to face his problems again!!

that made me reflect. I felt the part abt him fast-forwarding all his problems so.. meaningless? it just makes his life so meaningless with just happy stuff. that gave me a learning lesson. and also.. he was so desperate for difficulties im life when he had none? again, that gave me a learning point.

teh sad part of teh story is when his dad dies, his beloved dog died in his process of forwarding the time. he regretted not loving them when tehy were around (anotehr learning point). he reversed the time to see what he ha missed and he found himself ignoring his dad very rudely, asking him to get out of his sight when his dad tries to build thri relationship? and the dad said "I love you son" walking away with tears in his eyes whiel teh protagonist past-self, continued doung his work, ignorant of his surroundings. and when this prot saw tt, he made his dad kept repeating the words "i love you son" to his present self. cus all teh actions in the past can be controlled. it is all so sad to see that the prot can only appreciate his dad after his dad died. so sad!!

and eventually... the wife of teh protagonist divorced with him.. the ending is sad. teh protagonist died. v v v v sad. BUT.... something happened. i shan't say. haha.. its for u to catch the move Click! but remb to bring tissue! cus teh movie kept making ppl cry sia.. but its a great movie with lots of morals.

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Recently... as my b'day was approaching, i thought of what birthdays are all about. I used to be excited over my own birthday; really excited. probably it's becuause we live in a society where we ppl commemorate the date that they are bornt, just because it is a custom. and after a while, it becomes such a natural action to celebarte one's own b'day. but then again, perhaps i was excited over my own b'day due to teh b'day presents that i am going to get? I considered that possibility and i realised how true this can be. hmm..

that was how i started asking myself: "what is so special about birthdays?". I have no ever thought of such a qs and i was pleased to think in a much realistic manner instead of such a uperficial layer where we celebrate for teh sake of celebrating or for teh joy of it?

this was what i asked myself following that. what have i done that is significant in 15 years of my life (i am 16 today....)? i am conscious about how suicidal this may sound. but lets take this psoitively yea. i felt that in this 15 yrs of life, i am able to see the variety of ppl there are in this world. i don't underestand ad i think i will never understand why this world is divided into the right and wrong ppl? ppl are not necessarily incorrect when they are the odd one out in the crowd, beinga sore thumb to the others. why must we isolate such ppl from us and cut them off from teh society?

it is sad. why can;t we be comprimising towards each other? anyway, i am not accusing anyone yea. i am critcising myself too for i am guilty of them. personally, my spirit of tolerance over teh actions and behaviour of otehrs id dropping rapidly. i can tell that from the way i treat ka po? i just feel so guilty about it. so... i just find teh society such a complicated issue. the variety of ppl of ppl whom i've seen in this 15 yrs of my life are just so interesting. but recently.. i gave out trying to conform? i'll try again next yr and the following yr.... i'll mend my ways and i'll see how things go... hmm... i better stop talking too much of teh future. oh no.. i'm gonna cry. haha.

back to ori topic. well.. ya. so its just so interesting knowing teh various types of ppl and how we classify ppl under teh gd and bad cateogaries? that is well... very interesting, i must say. haha. also.. i get to try finding out the meaning of life? ya.

oh no.. i'm gona break down le. i guess i'm too worried for my exams. cus i havent been studying yesterday and today too. i ws busy with teacher's day preparation and today, with my birthday. and anywya dam* it manz. mr chan knows that i am in a depression state this yr? i duno how he knew. he only knew abt it eitehr yesterday afternn or this morning. ^*^#^%#%(*)*_*%$#$ manz. cus he told me with a smile today that i should try to be more cheerful? and stuff like tt. and i asked him who told him tt.. and he diddnt want to tell me? :(

thats all for today. cya.

anyway.. mrs jacob made me cry yesterday when i was talking to her. she made me feel so.... well.. i wont wana talk abt it. and abt half an hr later when i took her pic for techer's day ceelb, her eyes.... is brimmed with tears. i hope she just had teary eyes.. sigh. i just felt sad to see her eyes everytime i edit her pic. that pic is on my msn display pic. u can see her eyes brimemd with tears if u zoom in....

cya.