● @ Thursday, July 06, 2006 ●
a big SIGH for today. hai.. I duno la.. Cus i'm not in a slightly down mood and yet, i was frustrated or to put it plainly, i was pissed. so.. my day is not so-gd but still manageable for myself cus i havent break down la.. hai.. but my past few days were fine. I just find my new friends super funny lorx. super super funny. but i think if u just look at us individually, we're not that funny la. it's cus of the stuff that everyone says and it accumulates, making it super funny. and the reaction of those listening. hahaz...
on tue, we kept laughing cus i tried to learn Korean language. i spoke until like "kena sai" and the whole thing sounded so strange and lolz. and after that when i almost got it, i forgot the whole thing and i ended up telling ppl "bye bye" in Korean every time i see someone. so lame sia. so i just gave up learnig Korean, but that whole day was funny manz.. all of us kept laughing except Kapo who felt insulted as teh rest andi were making loads of crap out of teh korean language.
on wed; yesterday. we had a hilarious laugh. cus kapo started the "1 - 5" signs that u can do when taking pictures. cus the pics that we took on the CIP fair was developed and passed to us le. sam, gin, cel and I ended up creating "0-11" signs as we were inspired by kapo's idea of number signs when taking pics. teh signs were very very LOL manz. we laughed until like siao outside the chem class.. sigh.. talking abt this really makes me smile and all my unhappiness have faded away. :) but again, kapo was offended, saying we made fun of her. we were like so diao lorz. haha.. but we ignored the 'diao' feeling and consoled her la. haha.
on thur; today. it was also funny but not as much as yest. during BASICS, we (sam and I) were supposed to design a poster on our imagery IR. we ended up drawing the IR as a fish and lots of other crap. so funny sia! and lame la.. and poor junhao just looked on and felt so paisei that his name is included in our work.
on the overall, i just find that my friends are soo hilarious and sam and i are the ones who always laugh our hearts out to enjoy it. so I LOVE to laugh now manz. the feeling is great; just that those around us get annoyed as we laugh too loud la. =X i'm just pleased that they always make me happy.. sigh.. :) although i get really pissed off by ka po la.
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well.. my day (omg manz; i keeeep speeling 'day' as 'dad' -.o) wasn't gd after Mrs Zamree spoke to me after C.H lesson. i was standing near her when she suddenly asked me to come over. she just said that i'm not putting in enough effort in my hw and she showed her disappointment in me. hai.. she told me that my work has dropped since last time till now and the work i give her now is bad. she said it looks like i'm in a hurry to finish the hw, and that my essay has no depth. she said that if it's all teh whiel that way, she's fine with that. she explained that its cus of the deprovement in teh work i give resulting in her telling me to buck up.
well...... i just felt upset. ya; she read my mind. i was thinking of giving up on C.H. but i thought recently that if i give up on both C.H and lit, i will have no humanities and i can't afford to get another 2 E8 for both humanities for my Os isn't it? hai.. i just felt depressed after talking to her. i've lost faith in both lit and CH. my MYE results crushed my confidence in it totally. I'm not blamming her; honestly. but.. her words of me resulted in confidence level dropping drastically. I', stating a fact; not an opinion. i'm NOT blamming her cus its my fault ma..
i could have just said that she's a nut talking those stuff abt me and hence not believe those stuff she said abt me right? I could have done so. but i'm just too sensitive. hai.. I took all her words to heart taht i cant believe that my confidence level has dropped totally because of that. hai.. and teh sight of her makes me sad. maybe its cus i've lost a friend that i've knew for 3 yrs. but its also cus she reminds me of the words she said abt me. sigh.... so everything is inter-linked.
hence i really need friends supporting me at this period of time. that's why I, get, very upset, when, that ass clown, criticised me. don't say you didn't; please. you did. plus ur comics. i was so cruel and mean to u in my remarks in ur comic bk cus of that. i'm s sorry but i cant help it. that was why i was very sensitive to any critical remarks anyone pass to me (esp from a friend), or any action or expressions anyone has towards me. i'm far too sensitive these days le. why? cus as i've said, my confidence level has dropped totally. so pls, i beg you guys at this period of time, can spare me? dont criticise me. I am like so wrecked out lor. hai... that's why i was very touched and appreciative when my friends accompanied me and made me happy. and when hui2 tag my blog. sigh.. I want to say this some time ago but i was always not in the right mood.
in sort, mrs zamree talk to me really made me sad as it reminded me that i have given up it my humanities. i will try my best to catch up though. sigh. wa seh. i feel like crying now manz. hai.. shit. not cus of mrs zamree or humanities. its cus this topic abt me giving up. hai.. i am intending to talk to mrs koh abt it some day. hai.... let me just say this. i feel like commiting suicide yea? ya. take it or leave it. it's your choice. and please, dont make me paisei by talking abt it when u see me. thx. hai.. cus im fine in teh day but my saddness arrive during night time. it's always that way. sigh.. hai.. i just want to talk this out. hai..
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anyway, i ws pissed today cus of kapo. she made me so pissed and hence stressed out during eng lesson. cus she was the grp leader and i will get v impatient if the leader of my grp cant lead well. cus i enjoy leading a grp but if u're leading, do it well. cus if you dont you will make me totally impatient. and even gin and cel was so pissed with her. i was so surprised when ginny said she wanted to burst out at kapo. -wow-. but i sahnt talk abt others la. hai.. just hope that its a gd experience for kapo beig the grp leader? hai..
i changed to this song to match my mood although its a super old song.
Savour Every Moment
