● @ Wednesday, July 26, 2006 ●
before i forget again, i wana say that i'm feeling okay that my friendship with lyefong is broken. its not that i am happy over it la.. i'm not such a sadist la.. but i can talk abt it v freely these days. like some times ppl ask me when was the last time i went to holland V? i can just look into ur eyes and tell u that i went out with lyefong last time and can even tell u in detail what happened. i was surprised when i was able to narrate the happy times we had together last time, w/o having any feelings, as though we're still friends. i really duno why. but i must really really thank mrs koh for helping me out. w/o her, such things won't be possible for myself today. she made me get over it by saying some stuff la.. actually quite a lot la.. and she say she v K PO.. so wana talk to her abt it too. diao.. but that was like 2 wks ago? yea.. so i gotta thank her! :)
tts al l i wana say abt her.. cus i keep forgetting to close this whoel thingy u know.. every conflict's gotta have an ending. but one thing for sure is that teh case can't close with her er.. flinching when she walks past me a times? i knowo what u feel but you need not do that right.. well.. she has her reasons which she feels are justified i suppose. then so be it.. i cant blame her. case closed. ah ya. congrats for making me annoyed everytime u do that. haha.
anyway.. i was feeling very angry with my section today when i dropped by for band for an hr after bio FOCUS... their clarinet tone was disastrious, needless to say their technical skills. our band is known for tone, with bad skills. so if tone's all we have, so make it good; show it. but it looks like the new batch of band members don't have it, needless tos ay teh skills. so what do we have? i was so angry but i didn't scold them. i got so angry with them.. i kept asking them to practice their clarinet.. but it looks liek teh results aint showing up. yes i know it takes time but its already july for goodness sake. hai....
and folliwng that, i just felt so disappointed with myself. it was also my fault that they can't play up to scratch because i'm teh SL and am suppose to teach them and prevent such mistakes from happening. i just felt so bad. but i later told myself.. well.. i guess the saying is so true. If the teacher isn't good, how can the students follow suit? i told mrs koh something abt this before but she disagreed with me. something similar that's pertaining to myself; not her la.. abt me wanting to be a teacher in future..
our pile of hw is increasing these days.. sigh.. and im starting something new this wk: that is to fine myself shoudl i slep too early or waste my tiem unnecessarily.
i met Mrs Michelle Lee on mon. we had a really good chat. anyway she's teh counsellor... she told me to be "subjective and not objective". it means that even if u are struck by an unhappy event, continue being objective and be clear in what u have to do such as studying, etc. a subjective person is one who feels sad because teh scenario is upsetting and hence not being objective. thats not we want. thus we have to subjective and not objective. i also learnt many things from her on mon but i shall share it with u guys if i cant remb on some other days. i gotta leave the internet le.. before i have to fine myself again.
cya. hai..
Savour Every Moment
