● @ Saturday, April 22, 2006 ●
Here's a good news for some of you. ha. my week sucks. haha... good news? hee.
another better news: i've not been updating my blog for a long time as my previous attempt to blog, had failed as my computer went hanged while i was blogging and everything i typed went down to the drain as i did not save my work.
wana know better details to enhance your celebration mood?
ha.
Last wk sucks due to a few reasons. 1. My mum. 2. Ms Dorean Tan. 3. My disappointment in someone. 4. My failure in academic grades.
My mum, cus she crushed the b'day card which i had made for her. My relationship with her is drifting away man. i shun her totally. i will refuse to even look at her recently. v unfilial aren't i. that's why i will NEVER have children. cus i will detest children like myself who have no respect for the mother at all. im just like a parasite to her and im serious. hai...
i must admit that my unhappiness towards ms tan isn't a sound one. i guess i'm too stressed this wk and last wk over the band plus studies.
this stress of mine is linked to the third factor. well...... i felt so ignorant last week. i did not give a da*n to my surroundings and i just let things be the way it was... what jia ming woudl call : "let nature flow by itself". but i must say that i was very mean. i did not give a da*n to the whole situation at all, which makes me an extremely mean and heartless person. yes, heartless. and i am ashamed of that.
However, this wk (esp late wk), had proven to myself that i am nOt a heartless person. and you know why? Because.............. I was fuming with anger. for abt 2 hrs? ha... very little right.. but still, i think i never felt that angry before in my life. but..... i went out with mingyan la... and i managed to cool down after that. *thank goodness*
my anger was nurtured into a disappointment... and after some reflection... i admit that i was a bit too worked up. i was curious why i was angry... cus.. well... it seems like that person has his/ her rights to be ahem. and i decided that it was due to the manner of how that person, conveyed his/ her thoughts.
I shall defend myself some other days... but well... i must first admit that i was arrogant. yes; i was conceited.
I used to be a very arrogant person in my Pri sch days. but after i left my pri 6 days, i tamed down and was able to control my arrogance. it's still in my personality, but i managed to control them. but i noticed that i can't do that recently... actually not recently la.... shan't say why...
was deleting all my sms's in the bus earlier... and following that, i viewed all the sms'es that i keep... there are only 49 sms's. well.... i noticed that the sms's that i keep ae either v sad ones, or touching ones which are no longer valid today. what do i mean? up to u decipher it...
I was initially v mad with my section members.. cus i was very stressed over their playing cus this will very likely be the very last concert i will ever perform in tanglin band. so gotta put up a good show. so they receievd lots of crap and scoldings from me.... (hopefully i'm not venging my stress on them... =X ) but... they made me proud of them yesteday and i bought them chocs! that was the first time in my life, i really feel the happiness in buying others' gifts. cus it really came from my heart. :)
well... i was thinking well.. i gotta be more conscious of my actions and words. ya. but what's done is already done, and there's nothing we can do about it. i'm still wondering when will i ever dare to say out some stuff, which will reaklly bring out the hurt from someone. i doubt i will ever live to say that. but still, it takes 2 hands to clap!
sigh... ya! i forgot! so.... my wk sucks today.. and u can go and celebrate ya? dont forget!
and... btw..................... we have a new member.
ahEm. and that's
Ian Sim.
I was horrified.
Savour Every Moment
