● @ Tuesday, April 12, 2005 ●
Firstly. I am feeling so fed-up at the moment as my computer, is simply, corrupted. As i was typing, i spoke in a voice that even me myself would not like to hear it. I cannot even check my email account. what's this. the moment the page flash, it will be redirected to my stupid "home-page" that has been changed since the last time i went online meaning the last time i had blogged. The last time i blog, it was perfectly normal other than the usual pop-ups and my incapability of using the the computer msn msgr. Anyway, good grief that my dad signed up for some filtering. let me cut all these short. cus the moment my computer went to its desktop, a window pop-uped telling me that the system is not working adue to harware damage or virus. and obviously mine is due to the virus attacked. this is so sad. i need to reformat my hard disk. shitt.... i also need to transfer all my documents to somewhere too... its not just my music files. argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 sigh.. my QM files and secretary files are currently the most impt ones. cus there's no one on this earth having the soft copy. lol.. except me. which is a duh cus i was the creator for the docuuments. plus my bio notes, and other notes? shitt... hai.. music files takes up a tremendously huge space. this is why i refuse to change my system to XP. I spent quite someseconds to think whats the system called. in fact, i almost forgot my email password.. cus i diff place have diff password. and i have never forgot it before.. miracle. A big hai. A sigh that seems impossible to be expressed. anyway, mr ou yang just msged me saying that he will postpone the class test. i wonder why. perhaps itsdue to him seeing my msn nick. but it makes me wonder why he cant tell me online. so scary ar.. my nick. hai.... Let me stop thinking abt my computer and the aurious (wrong spelling i guess) virus, which is actually after all due to my stupid fault. hai. I am feeling so frightened now as ii think about what i am about to say. im always trained to think fast when typing a blog as i dislike to break the momentum of my typing speed just to think of what to type. Fuhua had their SYF today. They played festa pasana hoping for a gold medal, like what TSMB had hoped for 2 yrs ago. But. They got only a silver medal. Before Ms Tan cam to the band room, mai recieved sms hence we knew before hand about it. Emotions immediately ran high in my veins. For a sudden, i felt frozen as though my heartbeat has stopped. Some of the noises some heatless people made seemed to be as though i am in a forest, hearing the noises the birds were making far away. I just felt very sorry for them and and i understood how they felt. Ms tan came within minutes later. She todl us that the tuning room in the S'pore conference hall was extremly cold. so cold that everyone was shaking like a jelly, unable to allow their muscles to move. (she did not describe that way but i am merely describing the way she mimic them). This resulted them to be extremly flat in thier playing and of course, they were extremly nervous. Ms tan said that a conductress claimed the room to be negative 30 degress cold. I find that exaggerating yet if ms tan can believe that, i can't imagine how cold the room is going to be like. Oh dear.. Mr Refat came 10 minutes later from spore conf hall.. and he told us the results of the other schools. Many of the schs dropped very badly. Only 1 school band got Gold Honours. And a couple got Gold medal. But many had dropped in medals. And overall, the results today have proven that the judges made were stricter today compared to yesterday's. As a band who is playing at a level 2 standard recieved a Bronze medal, but with the same level of standard, the band recieved a COP today. This is just one of the examples given from ms tan. But obviously she did not phrase it this way.
I just fet so nervous after everything and well.............. i just felt like crying and i wonder if we are going to get a bronze medal tmr.
We MUST NOT get anything lower than silver tmr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hai.
I just have no idea how i am going to emphasise my note on the 2 words. sigh..
anyway, band ended at 8pn today and we had no lessons. we started warmig up in the morning.. had our recess at 9.30 to ten like that.. than sleep... till one pm. *laughs* but do u think we fllow the schedule like lil' kids. hey no.. we came out many ties but rested in the end.. and during our recess, aloysius and i were arguing over jia mimg. cus jia ming wished him gd luck for syf. he sended it during recess. and he laughed at me saying that i jealous. But i argued back that his does not have a smiley but the one jia ming sent me days ago had one. lol..but actually, i am jealous over 2 factors. sigh.. nvm.. aloy is his section's junior and i am not. so what more can i say?
found out that the competition is starting only at 6pm like that.. and when mrs jacob asked me the time of it, i told her 5.30 and her reply was so late ar.... lol... 5.3 late, whats 6.0+-.... nvm.. anyway i keep seeing today.. went for toilet and i saw her.. haha.. after sch, toilet break, saw her again.. locking her door when i walkd down the stairs and well.. saw her.. and ya.. came out of toilet i saw her also.. and ya.. was talking to mrs zumree on the phone and i saw her in the staff rm walking in my direction. lol.. so total... hmm.. 4 times. haa.. im so lame.
tell u ar.. she see me sure v sian de. but im not sian of seeing her unless my blouse is out. one morning i almost banged onto her at the corner. i was turning out and she was turning in.. we almost banged but when we met, she was so cute. she smiled, and pointed at my blouse in such a funny manner. haha.. im lame. enough of mrs jacob.
and i wonder why mr wong kept saying stress after i met mrs jacob, when i was talking to amnita about stress. adn well, she heard me talking to her of cus as she just walked pass. hopefully not what i think. k... my eng sucks now.. i know that.. haha.. cant be bothered to use my eng to rephrase.
I was s touched when so many ppl bothered too wish me all he best for syf.. my juniors, classmates, and even ex-band members. a -wow-. i thought no one ever supports the band.
anyway we had a performance in the morning on monday and it was quite a nervous one for myself. but the band needs to be more energetic and lively. our band was located nect to mj's class. after the performnace, she was the one who clapped the loudest. all of us were shocked and of cus lar.. happy.. she said "Good, Good!!!".. haha... thats rather enocuraging of her. and i glad she shift the arranging files to thur and not tmr. was talking to her after lessons and she said the wrong this by saying that she will pass me the ws if there is any, to us on wed. lol.. u mean she deliver to my band rm? *laughs*...
thats all for today ba.. sigh.. after syf, a long break= horror time. time to catch up in studies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Better make sure i steer away from such thoughts till my stress from syf are over.. if not i dun think i can take it. something just seems to tell me that my heart isnt very strong. sigh.. from the medical check-up since pri sch, plus the fact that i notice. My heart seems to beat rather strongly. a little too strong, judging from the size of me. hmm.. plus my genes. hmm...
Enough.... Let me stop thinking about everything. But i wana do hw!! yet i dun feel like doing. but if i dun, after syf i will need to study math test, history test, do algethon hw, math hw, lit hw, and perhaps physics hw from today's lessons since i am still clueless about it.. Besides, i need to revise. i am totall clueless anout what's going on. and ya!!!! ss hw.. SEQ.. Mrs zumree told me through the phone.. sigh.. see? thats why i need to do hw todaay... but v stress leh.. enough of my talk.
Do u know something. everytime.
fter i spend my time talking about my depression/ anger/ stress, i will feel worst after that.
Hence i find it wierd from others claims about you feeling bettera fter typing.
But somehow rather, i just ejoy refelcteing and recalling. besides, i would always like to refelct back about the events that happened when im alone. Its just more than a chore, but a pastime.
Nuraini said this statemnet: "silence is as deep as eternity" and lots more.. and she said v chim hor? and admits she does not understands. i found it very wierd and alarming. as i am able to understand them after repeating it in my head a few times, analysing the statement. this statement is really nice. its one of the quotes i took out from her and anaylsed. Again, like literature.. analyse!!!!!!!!!!! hee.... love it. shitt.. i think abt hw again.
Fine... hai.. hw here i come.. and stress-free kelly!!!
wahah... lame statement. stop talking, kelly.
i wonder why im so talkative here..
noisy right? sorryy.. haha..
But i noticed a change in me.
After typing blogger for a year, i become one that express less of my life.. ya... looks like all my opinions are poured to my blog.. hmm.... wondering if its a good thing or bad. cg just called my house. good grief i had disconnected my hse phones... hai.. this is so sian... hai.. die le...
wish me god luck hor... haha.. so sad.... haha..
Savour Every Moment
