● @ Friday, December 24, 2004 ●
Going to write the events from the 13th Dec (mon) till 24th, which is today.. and thats a friday.. Christmas Eve!!
Ive decided to publish this post, since im unable to type till date de. anyway... today is the 29th. and i had forgot how to continue le. so.. let me publish this entry since i believe u too might not have the time to read it all also.. since im to busy le.
===================================
13th.. Mon.. Went out with celestine.. wore something different, yet quite fomral again.. the moment she saw me, she kept repeating herself: "Very nice leh, very nice leh!" making me so embarressed. she had wore quite simple today as shes going on a holiday next week. so.. packed le. I could feel that shes feeling rather awkard at first.. thus.. i regretted wearing so nicely.. hmm.. but my hairstyle is more suitable for formal clothes leh. thats my opinion. i look wierd in shirt and jeans... i had took a picture, and my friend; xingfang said i looked las if i had rebonded my hair. haha..
brought 3 items today.. mini dress (those type which you have to add a pair of jeans in), straps (what kind- not saying) and belt. thats all! =) glad that i had not spent so much today. anyway... i have been wanting that dress for quite some time le.. its so nice!! than you wear a pair of jeans inside... nice! =)
I noticed something.. whenever you wear nicely, people will treat you with more respect. hai.. i find that a sad truth. I found that out for my past 2 days of wearing rather formal clothes out. sigh.... hai... thats sad...
anyway.. hmm.. we went orchard.. Firstly at Plaza Singapura de This Fashion.. That was where i had brought my 3 items.. Than walk lor.. hmm.. than to centrepoint... we just walked along to that stretch of road.. Our last stop was at Takashimaya.. the things there were very expensive.. Now that i take a look at it.. A little ridiculous actually.. but.. too bad.. tourist spot. hai.. anyway.. i and celestine walked till wana die le.. sianz... extremly sian.. but siao lar.. walk round and round. haha.. nvm..
On my way home, in the MRT, JiaMing replied one of my sms'es, and the moment his msg came, everyone in teh MRT all jumped. LOL.. oppss..... Im so sorry.. hee... Cus it was so loud.. As it was crowded that day, there were so many people standing so near me. And tehy jumped on the moment his msg came.. hee.. after that bad experience, everyone drew away from me. :( But i was too eager to open his msg that i had forgot to apologise. sigh.. how rude of me.
On that night, i simply practised my clarinet as i had not done much for the whole week. Sometimes i also duno why i bring my music file home as i do not use it at home. I only practised my scales and tone at home. Nothing else since i am a busy person. haha.. just played for a same and low long tone for so long.. i was just standing in my room, looking out of the window and staring at the expressway.. also duno why i stand.. have seat dun want; want to stand....
anyway.. after 30-45 mins of playing the same low long note, i sounded different. But the experience was not dull at all. In fact it was interesting to do something and for myself to be so engrossed in it.. No allowing any thoughts to enter. However, i was able to tell that i sound different. The tone sounded eXtrEmlY different. This is my first time taking this practice seriously. But i was not too sure if my tone had got better or worst off.. haha.. so i just packed my clarinet with some uncertanity if my tone has improved le ma..
================================
14th.. tue.. went to school for my band practice. I tried tying my hair, as the haircut i had cut the day before was rather long.. too long to get to school.. but my tying proved unsuccessful.. it wasnt nice at all. I looked better without tying. However i just came to school with this crazy hairstyle.. I classified it as crazy as this hairstyle looks very nice on me if i do not tie. However it looks awful if i tie as i had layered my hair..
so.. came to school with my hiar tied up. so sway.. met mr wong. he got everyone's attenetion to me but exclaiming: "Kelly! you look very different today. They say you look very pretty the other day." ... if you want to make me embarressed, simple. call me pretty as i do not think im that pretty. =) lol.. duno why i smile fro what also. siao one.. haha.. the sec 3s who were sitting on the bench started exclaiming at teh sight of me. .......... very lame lor.. i say le.. haha.. teh sec 3s i was talking were the ones whom had not attend for the concert at esplanade.
Band practice that day, should be alright ba... aiyah.. band practice is very simple to classify it if its a good or bad day. Is ms tan in a good or bad mood? thats thr first. Secondly, did ms tan spent 90% of the day doing intunation with the band, or talking? Last but not least, how did yOu perform on that day? Have you spent a terrible practice playing shit that day? these will determine my day in the band.
The sec 3s wants my hair to be tied up, as it was way below the collar. However, after a few tries in school, i gave up tying. And i noticed that after that, the sec 3s turned a blind eye to my my long yet untied hair. I felt a little guilty as i know that they are kind not to talk about it as it looks nice. However, i am sure that it is just a matter of time when they will open thier mouth to say me off for not tying my hiar. sigh...
Thus, i made a decision that had meant a lot to me. It was, to get to the hairdresser for the second time to get my hair cut again. Hai.. My mood sank very low that day after having it cut as i had looked less pretty le. hai.. anyway.. (lol.. so thick skin). I was in such a bad mood after day. Thus i slept the moment i showered. hai.. But my mood came to a turning point after my dad saw and gave his comments on my haircut. He agreed that i had looked less nice after cutting my hiar for the 2nd time. But there was this statment of his, that changed my mood severely. He commented that :"you are now a student, so dont need to be so nice ma. You come to school is to study, not some fashion bazzar." how true... why hadnt i thought about that?
Slept about 2am that night... duw to some extremly idiotic guy. He is a very idiotic person who is trying to make me his girlfriend. Like shit.Firstly, i do not fancy the idea. Secondly, i dislike guys that wish to be your boyfriend, when they have even barely know me. I told him that his chances were extremly low as i have not said yes to any guys before. still, he was so obstinate. stupid person. No means no. But i guess it was also my fault as i have been friendly in return to his msgs. But.. you know right.. If i do not have free sms'es to send, i would have say him long time ago le. but.. haha.. finally not disturbing me le.
After a few rounds of qs i asked him, i finally got the truth out. I had to ask a few rounds as he had refused to answer me truthfully. i asked him how he got my number. He told me soem stupid reasons. after asking him, i finally found out who is the person behind all these nonsense. And of course....... i had to read some of his msgs that led me to being extremly angry. When i read one phrase of his saying that priscilla had described JiaMing as something. I was so angry. But still, i kept quiet. But this is a smart guy. He kept saying this insulting thing about JiaMing. But when i kept quiet, he asked me..
He wish to know that if what priscilla says is true. She had told him that i have a boyfriend named JiaMing. And there goes her description that led me to being very angry with her. So here this boy, is trying to ask me if i have a boyfriend. I told him no. but he dont believe. dumb lar. no so what. that does not means that i wish to be his girlfriend right? stupid. (anyway, stupid computer too... the computer is getting slower. It cant keep up with my typing speed. )
when he asked me if what priscilla says is true.. her stupid, insensitive, cold, heartless, ruthless animal description. I am too tired of thinking of any more descriptions.... with that, i disagreed with what priscilla had told him about jiaming. well.... he had got his so-called ans, that jiaming is my boyfriend. fine... go on his way.. tell him bYe!!!! hahhahaha... sadistic me.. anyway. The thing here, is that. SHE PRISCILLA YEE IS GOING TO BE DEAD FROM ME. I am not going to confront her. but. i am very insulted by what she called JiaMing. I dont mind her calling me "looks 50-50" i dont care about that. But i am extremly insulted by what she had called jiaming. Extremly insulted. How could she call him that.
================================
15th.. wednesday... well....... theres supposed to be band right? haha... i am totally clueless what to write.. let me get my hp to check again.. Ohhhhhhhhh.. good. there will be loads to write about this day. That wednesday was the first day of my band Exuberance Camp. haha.. waitt.. wrong.. is EnDuRaNcE camp. hahahahha... bad memory of mine.. lol.. no wonder.. cus my hp calender is written as exuberance camp.. thats why. haha.. one mistake of mine has cost me to have mistakes all over the place after that.
Was late that morning. Due to what reason? I was late as a punishment for not listening to my instincts, or should i say; my guardian angel. haha.. It had told me to alight a stop earlier, but i was to lazy to make a move. So i stayed in the bus. Never did know that there was a big traffic jam that has caused the road in front of the school, to get stuck. Thus i had no choice but to accompany all the passengers in the bus to go through the traffic jam. sian.. pity its a public transport. so.. got stuck in it for almost 10 mins. boring..
reached school, see that christina's face, than she asked me why am i not running since im late. told her a stupid reason that was only half true that my feet is injured. That morning at home, i did not know why.. But i placed plenty of... hmm... how should i say this.. well.... ahEm into my bag.. i also duno why.. just did whatever my mind ask me to do.. which is actually sub-consiously, my instincts. hai.. Never did i realised when i reached school, that i need them. hai... super stupid lor... i stained my skirt. =( What a great way to start this stupid camp.
Did drills.. it was quite fun actually... lol... not much of a serious job for us, which caused rachel and guys to go mad with us that night as they started lecturing us that night. I have no idea what we did after that... But i guess we had our lunch. haha. so funnie man. ha.ha. How humerous you feel it is, really depends a lot on what is your persepective. Cus my sec one junior in my group, cooked Mee Goreng in a liquid form. haha...
I duno why... But aloy and i are always in teh same group. I find that realy mysterious. He and i are in the same group, and the 2 pairs (since only 6 sec 2s had turned up- i had almost fell down the stairs upon seeing the squad that day). well... tanshin needs my help that day.. so i dragged aloy along too.. This would be leaving the sec ones to cook our lunch. lol.. tunrned up to be a watery mee Goreng... nvm... its alright... they helped up ma... haha... Just that all of us did not have the appetitte to eat. The amount of noodles was so much, and yet the food was not so appealing.
There was this little transparent plastic bag i had brought along with me. It stored food from both my group and radhia's group de leftover food. Some of these, have dropped on the basin and i simply scopped them up and into the plastic bag. In it, we had placed our tissues, etc... Let me phrase it in a more disgusting way: "The plastic bag was our trash bag, that contains all the gross and slimy stuff." haha.. now that i phrase it this way, i feel like vomitting" haha.. as usual, mr wong enjoys amusing himself by asking us to eat thrash food. He saw the bag on my basin, took it, asked a bowl from me and poured all the gross contents into the bowl.
Following that, he asked all the group leaders which is WeiJun, Felicia and unfortunately me too, to eat 2 mouthfulls of that "soup". yucks... so gross. It tasted horrible. I quickly ate when mr wong turned his back, as i am afraid he would duno wana do what funny stuff if i eat in front of him. yucks... that wAs gRoss. After eating them, i felt like vomitting at the thought of the contents of the food.
With this event, we proceeded with the 2nd event of the day. All of us; sec 2s, had a mini full band in the music Room, where ms tan tested us individually. We played Singapura Medley, and a new piece to side read. I had to play the first clarinet... well... hmm.. my mistakes was that i tongue and slur all over the place. Incorrect.. second one, is that my thriplets playing is no good.
Though i had felt that my playing was not too good that day, i just did not feel the fear that would creep to me usually when i am nervous. I just kept calm and.... hmm.. haha.. Be cool!! hee... After our horroor time with ms tan was done, joyce came to me and said that my tone had improved a lot. I was pleased upon hearing that.
After that was some light and humerous drills. really ma.. the seniors were the least serious at all... so how could u expect us to have this stern and serious rocky face? The next event was a special one... we had to wait outside the music room, playing a stupid game of monopoly while each of we; sec 2s will be gone; and into the music room. We felt so nervous, that we kept the monopoly game up, after a few half-hearted rounds of throwing the dice.
After ditching the game of monopoly, we just slacked and chated together discussing what the seniors wil be doing to us the moment we get in, and how has the camp been so far. I was the 2nd last person to get into the music room. The first was Radhia followed by WeiJun, Aloy and Felicia. The last was Fareez.
The moment i got in, the started blasting the radio, wanting me to dance with the music. So sway.. i hav never heard of the music they had played for me before.. Than the mr wong asked me to dance together with Benson. .... He smart lar.. Did nothing, but just walk one round around me, looking me at the eye. ... as usual, people were caiming that it was such a waste that JiaMing wasnt there. sian..
After the dancing (which i had just moved with the music a little, and they called it dancing- haha.. ), Mr wong start his flow of questions. His 2nd qs (since the first is not interesting but just a mere one to test our thinking skills) was to name all the posts in the band. I named all from the highest to the lowest. I kept saying them in a smooth order except the QM post (cus i had forgot what's my current post.) haha.. With that, mr wong said that im very observant (?) saying that the rest was not able to mention all (hmm.. this is more of te memory work lar..)
Mr wong and the seiors had asked so many qs. Some were quite easy and others were difficult to answer as they are quite senstitive ones. Some of the qs i disliked was: "How much help or difficulty do u think you have been to Jasmine?". "Who's your competitor?" "If i allow you to age over Aloysius, in what way do u think you are better than Aloysius?" "What do how do u think you could help the event which happened at Fuhua from happening (Jasmine being said off by Mr Wong for not checking the instruments)?" "Do u think you are good enough to be the QM?" "Do you think you have the qualities to be one?" "Do you know how to fix an instrument up?"
I dislike these qs, as they were either rather hard to answer, or they were rather uncomfortable ones. Of course i am now unable to recall all their qs as its now so many days after the inccident. But there is one thing which i know that is impossible to forget. Its the fact that i was on the verge of tears. Tanshin could understand me very well... hai.. What made me at the verge of tears is that it simply reminds me of things, which caused me to feel that i am not fit to be a Quarter Master. In my opinion, i feel that i am simply not fit to be a qm. Im not saying my reasons of cus. But i just feel that im jut unfit to be one.
Just did not feel really myself. Deep down in my heart, i wish to be the Band Major. However, i did not proposed to be one this time round as i feel that i am not strict and responsible enough. Last but not least, there are better people out there to be the band major. Besides, if i am the band mjor, well... i am sure that 2 people would bound to show their disapproval. My dad and Mrs Jacob. My dad, as he says that its too early to be a leader. (F.Y.I, my dad is a commander in the Army. hee.. ). omg.. if i am the band major.. lol.. cant help laughing at mrs jacob reaction man.. She does not like me to get stressed up de.
So.. spent a long tiem in the music room, as teh seniors plus mr wong shot me lots of qs that were mostly quite hard to answer. But i usually answer them from my own personal knowledge. If i say that im ansering them through my own personally knowledge, it means that my answers are sometimes not very accurate le.. Instead, i will justmake sure that they are all quite mature answers (i would sun-consiously be doing that). Things like.. the meaning of life, etc. thats how i would link. I just love saying such stuffs.
This caused Mr Wong to describe me as a rather wise person at the end of the interview. lol.. wise.. he made me sound so old.. The adjectives he used to describe me, is that i am arrogant yet wise. ... hai. if you call me an arrogant person, i cant help agreeing with you. If im not afraid, im sad to say that i will be arrogant instead. sigh..
After that, JiaMing came. ya.. and mr wong made me wait for so long by talking on phone.. order pizza, KFC, and talking to jiaming. sian.. following that, we ate our dinnner... by... cooking again. ugh.. i wanted to cook fried rice de leh.... but did not in the end.. we just at esome pathethic food in the end.. sian.. no appetitie to eat. anyway.. i stranggled aloysius as he said something bad about JiaMing. :( lol.. but i stranggled him and he was a little mad with me i guess.. i had obviously regretted after that.... so bad of me.. :(
anyway... RongShan and tanshin gave me KFC chicken that night. so nice of them! especially RongShan.. hmm... she has changed a lot recently.. much better.. Let me skip lots of events since i do not have all teh time in the world to type.. and i am sure you too, do not have all the time in the world to read.
We were sleeping when the seniors suddenly woke us up in the middle of the night at about 3am.. they woke us up by some drums and clash symbols i think.. hmm.. anyway... it sounded like chinese new yr or what kind of fire crackers.. i jumped a little upon hearing, but slept again. lol.. till duno who go and ask me wake up. It sounded quite loud and scary. but.. it did not scare me out of bed, though. haha..
so..woke up in the midle of the night..... and do some lame drills and marching. siao one lor, they. nvm.. next yr our turn to torture. ha... how sadistic of me. after waking up due to the crazi seniors of ours, i did not feel like slpeeing le. so i went out if the band room to look at the stary sky and deserted road while radhia sleep.
ate some boring breakfast the next day. i ate cornflakes with a room-temerature milo. so gross... After eating, mr wong kept sayingmy name... aslo duno for what.. i sian, he asked "kelly, why look so sian". When i laod my head, he asked "kelly, sleeping!" . than when i was so deep in thoughts.. and .. ya lar.. a little depressed, he said: "Kelly, you look like its the end of the world." sian lar.. he..
Savour Every Moment
