● @ Friday, November 19, 2004 ●
2 nights ago.. tue night.. hai.. hmm.. not a very nice night.. but.. hai.. was quite surprised with myself.. cried once. that's all. that's wierd.. but good for me. hai.. im wondering what happened to me. instead of feeling the usual depression, im feeling angry for a change. how wierd.. hai.. was crying that night.. than hor... my dad opened the door and came in. hai.. of cus i not happy lar. than he asked me what happen.. than i say nothing lor. the thing here is that i managed to got away, and yet not telling him the reason. even if he insists, i will most probably create a story lor.
so.. was crying.. but i stopped after that, as someone had msg'ed me.. well.. i placed jiaming and mrs jacob in the same group.. only 2 of them only. haha.. cos i supposed they would not be msg'ing me at the same time.. well.. gave them one unique sms tone.. so.. i recieved this sms lor.. jiaming lor.. actually i was extremly surprised to see him replying my msg. i thought. well.. just forget it lar. hai.. anyway.. i dont feel like talking about this. so.. i saw his sms.. stop crying lor.. but became moody le. but im glad he had sms'ed me.. cos it had made me stop crying.
had a terrible night that day.. kept tossing about the bed.. cos im unable to sleep.. hai.. for what reason? i must say meh.. hai.. but.. lets not blame anyone. never blame anyone but yourself. woke up feeling rather lethargic that day.. woke up at about 8am... regreted weraing slippers.. cos followed my dad to the office.. we were late.. which caused us having to chase after a bus. ... hai..
i dont understand. i can work for my aunt full day de.. why must work for her half day only leh.. cos i always work for her in the afternn, after my lunch with my dad. so.. she picks me up at his office.... work lor.. abit sian.. i was in her car, and as usual, radio on.. but felt quite irritated listening to the music. somehow rather, i wasnt feeling very well that thursday.. besides.. its my fav radio station.. but i prefer to hear nothing.
hai.. anyway.. noticed that im having plenty of mood swings recently.. one moment sad.. the net angry. i still sont understand. what for am i angry? hai.. but my mood had became better till date. erm.. today is on the 20th.. sunday. haha... not 19th. but.. tts good. cos im having a class outing tmr.. and.... im one of the organisers. but.. organising the games with jaime... so.. i cantyy possibility be showing a black face to my classmates right.. hai..
well.. she went china a few days ago.. and.. guess what? she brought me things.. haha.. that really lightened up my mood considerably.. she brought me a sling bag.. cos she knows i like sling bags.. heyy.. its nice!!! a darg green one.. and.. lol.. she brought me 10 music cds leh.. haha... well.. thats really nice of her.. haha.. pi thanked her so many times.. haha.. ya.. and she brought my dad the movie, Dawn Of The Dead. watched it that night. omg.. its so scary.. its a zombie movie..
The movie, Dawn Of The Dead, is once a cinnema show... Under 21. lol.. why... violence and nudity again. why ar.. nudity always comes to the ladies ar.. not guys ar.. lol.. not that im interested. hahah... shows that in the eyes of people, males are always more interested in the female gender, than vice versa. the first zombie flict was scary. there's a twist in this movie. Instead of zombies being slow walkers, they run instead!!! lol.. so scary... and.. wah.. now i undrestand why under 21.. they really show the flesh when the zombies bite. really scary. hmm.. but i will give this movie 4 and a half stars man.. the movie is also a rather humerous one, if you are not so frightened.. you will laugh your head off. haha.. cos of the part where the zombies are chasing after the people. haha.....
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friday.. i dont feel like coming for band de.. but.. had a really strong feeling that jiaming is coming.. though i always say fat hope lar. almost wantyed to bring his bday presnts... but.. im not yet done lor.. let me see... need to complete something.. than also need to buy and write. than need to wrap. oh.. im dead. haha.. anyway.. was in a better mood that day. teh sec 3 seniors always make me so touched. joyce alwyas beg me to go.. like the otehr people in our section no use like that. hai.. that opinion always make me down.. hopefully it does not becomes a fact one day.. hai. and.. tanshin was also persuading me to go for her NCO parade..
our section did not do quite well today leh.. not really together.. esp the soli part at Where The Black Hawk Soars. u can hear that theres more than a player. at times.. than sounds like a rather strong one player.. but unfortunatly not that day.. hm.. yupp.. my instinct was right. ive brought my books le.. but purchased some of the books which was out of stock the prev day, yesterday..so ex.. 20 plus.. following that, brought a PE tee and a skirt. wanted to buy blouse.. but.. out of stock le.. had to go redhill.. so far.. hai.. cos that day was the last day the school is selling theold uniform. after that day, e new uniform would be sold. glad that i had a 50 note that day...
realised how hard it was to sms, using a flip phone.. what lor.. that ian kept calling me.. he call, i reject.. so many times.. in the end he told me: "F*** u lar.. duno how to answer the phone isit.." what lar.. ppl having band cannot ar. haha.. but.. so hard to sms... than tanshin sms me.. asking if im coming anot.. following that, mingyan msged me.. ugh.. why people liek to msg me when im in band ah.. was hiding my hp behind teh stand.. so.. slouching lar.. than ms tan said i duno what.. like v sian or what. haha.. ya ma.. very sian. haha! anyway ar.. ugh... was a little unhappy with her.. she started saying about what love or duno what.. making me feel so embarressed. hai.. its just my way of thinking lar.. hai.. like what i said earlier.. mj and jm has the same sms tone.. i had sms'ed jm earlier. so.. had this jmj? tone... assumed that its jm since i had not msg'ed mj.. well.. she surprised me.. cos she had msg'ed to me. lol.. asked me for the sunday thing..
after band, joyce and i walked and talked.. sat in the canteen in the end. hai.. she ar.. hai.. like what ive said before. cant be sensitive to others feelings.. hai.. u think im happy? cos not. hai.. but.. not angry lar.. cos shes been telling me so long ago.. that he likes peirong.. it may be true, and may not be true. but the thing here, is that u cant change a person's feelings. u cant decieve yourself. if you like soemone, it means that you liek someone. dont like means dont like. how could you decieve your own feelings? if its a fact, well.. too bad for myself. but.. i dont blame him. its expected de. hai..
joyce and i had almost wanted to go redhill together, to buy our uniforms. haha.. but nope lar. went home and changed.. went there myself. how i get there? i also duno.. where? i also duno. haha.. only know that its opp SMU. tanshin told me the bus no, from which mrt.. and the rest are based on my instincts. haha.. came out from Newton MRT.. wondering.. turn left or right ar.. my instinct told me to turn left.. so.. i turn lefy lor.. surprisingly correct leh.. luckily i me a bunch of teenagers whom i presumed who are going tehre too.. cos they were talking about TK band.. what maze thingy.. haha.. so.. just follow them. hee.. im late.. but.. heyy.. haha.. i reached there alone!! and ive found my way!! lol.. spore so small lor.. whats the deal man. haha..
saw tanshin.but from what i heard, they marched.. hmmm.. met christina, jasmine, weixing (groan), Hilda, Jannah & Liyana. they were quite amazed to see me alone. haha.. hai.. hmm.. tanshin was so happy to see me. haha.. effort not wasted. u know.. it starts at 6.30.. ends at 7.30.. and i reached there at 7.25. haha.. nvm.. so long as i make tanshin happy and not disappoint her, im happy le. haha.. hmm.. took lots of pics. yucks.. i dont like the look of my face that day. i still look very dark. talking abt pics.. ms tan took a pic of jiaming.. and im jealous. lol.. but.. yupp.. though it sounds ridiculous. haha...
took a bus to Jurong Point.. ate our dinner.. 9 plus le.. with Jannah, WeiXing, Jasmine & Hilda.. almost going to be bored to death sitting in the bus.. was listening to my diskman.. using the hp.. duno going where also.. so.. v boring. though they talked to me occasionally. ate.. wah.. dont wish to black mouth people lar.. but really ar.. weixing talks alot. even the seniors cant stand him. ate finnish, 10 plus.. was having dinner when jiaming replied me.. i think they noticed that teh sms tone is different from the usuals.. upon seeing my face brightening up, they suspected that its jiaming. what.. er.. haha.. thoug its true lar.. but u think i will ever admit? ha.. in tehir dreams. than they started one whole chunck of tsuffs about him. i listen le sian.. haha.. 23rd Of Nov!!!
reached home.. almost 11.. ugh.. so quiet. thats eerie.. walked so far in lor.. sob.. haha.. hmm...
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this morning.. hmm... went out with jaime.. ate our lunch together at the chinese restaurant i had recommended her once to... following that, we discussed at Jurong East library... discussed for quite long.. from 1 till almost 3pm.. cos she and i are the ones organising the games.. and.. of cus we will be the one saying tmr.. sob.. so.. hmm.. discussed le. ya.. what games ar.. class outing at East Coast Park. yea!! at last tmr.. and ive done most of my job le.. arreanged with mj a date.. wrote and passsed the invitation letters to the teachers.. organised the games with jaime.. and did the time schedule thing le.. quite stressful.. but.. hmm.. whats stress? lol..
called mrs jacob.. cos it looks like she had not recieved the msg i had replied her yesterday. she sounded so scary when she msg'ed me this afternoon if i had recieved her msg.. asked if i had seen her yesterday's msg.. called her.. i ws in the library.. and they were having a talk- "im gifted, so are you". she complained that my environment very noisy.. asked where am i.. lol.. im in the library and its noisy.. but hers is also aqually noisy lor. haha.. looks like she's outside. oh.. haha.. shes driving the 4 of us to marine parade to buy.. than to ECP.. than off she go.. back at 4pm like that.. just proposed to her, if she could come at 3pm.. cos we are having class games.. after our free time.. i think she will be bored to death during our free time ba.. haha..
reached home at about 4pm.. tired.. hai. meeting mj tmr at 10am.. Xingfang, me, Zekai.. and.. hmm.. im still thinking which boy to call.. hai.. hmm.. a few problems for me.. need to think how am i going to settle the organiser's lunch. sigh.. hai.. feel liek im carring a heavy responsibility tomorrow. and.. haha.. strictly NO SWIMMING is allowed. wonder how to stop if they try going. best still ar.. cut out the newspaper cutting of the drown indfian boy. hai..
hmm.. feeling nervous now.. heyy.. glad that im feeling better mood le. hee.. hmm.. theres this boy who added me in friendster.. saxophone player.. sec 1 this yr.. er.. he ar.. abit siao siao de.. want my hp num.. asked me if im his friend. ha. i always love to answer to a boy's qs, when they asked something like that. haha.. but.. i abit mean ma.. just.. hope that they would not get the wrong idea. hai.. its always tough loving someone unless you are loved in return. but not everyone is so lucky.. hmm.. like what ive said.. you cant force someone to like you. like means like. dont like means dont like le ma. hai.
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