● @ Wednesday, September 08, 2004 ●
let me see.. hmm.. nothing much lor.. just stayed at home the whole day yesterday.. studying chinese -bleah!- from morning till evening.. can u believe it? kelly's studying chinese!! hee.. crazy lar.. anyway.. between chinese and math, i chose to study chinese... haiz... but.. guess i gotta face reality lar.. haiz.. the reason why i prefer chinese to math at the moment, is because im really behind in my work.. besides... mr mohan gave us so many mock papers!! haiz. the worst thing, is that ist's testing us work we;ve done in term 1 and 2... something which is not going to be tested in this coming common test. haiz.. dread it.. haiz.. worst still.. math subject is very important this year.... streaming mar.. haiz.. sci still ok lar.. just stress... haiz..
duno why.. yesterday afternoon, i decided to eat the chocs jia ming gave me for my birthday.. hmm.. cuz i was opening the fridge door, looked at it, and took it out. cuz i was afraid it would be too cold.. than catch a cold.. lol. im crzay lar. non-living stuff also give it personification.. hee.. anyway... so.. suddenly decided to open it up.. after much hesitation, i did.. but with lots of planning.. my intial plan, was to share with whoever i can.. which is only my dad.. and i was thinking of taking a first pic, when i open it.. than one day, each of us will eat one only.. hee..
but my plan was detroyed, the moment i took off the plastic covering.. the first sign, was an oily cover (something which i had noticed, on the night of my birthday.. though i did not give it much thought). next sign was that the was chocolate stain on the box.. haiz... nervously, i open it.. to my horror and suspicion, yupz.. it had melted.. very horribly.. there was like a pool of chocolate.. lol.. BUT. luckily, i had placed it in the fridge, a few days after my bday.. though i was very reluctant to get it out of my sight.
so... obviously.. melt le.. so quantity also reduced.. but there was still some survival among thos "dead" chocs.. hee... and they tasted fantastic.. ate some in the afternooon.. ate one melted heart.. left another one for my dad.. at night, i gave him to eat.. he gave me the heart.. though ive said that i had my share le.. well.. that heart had not melted.. and.. it looked so beautiful.. haiz.. im really not surprised, if my dad knows that this choc is given by someone whom i like.. cuz.. i had placed so much protection for it.. and kept talking about it. -hee- =.= worst still.. LOL. i refused to throw it away.. quite obstinate actually.. hmm.. so.. placed the empty box of chocs in the fridge.. sounds stupid? hee.. no choice.. if i need to throw it away one day, i do not wish to be the one throwing it away in the dustbin..
radhia said that my liking for jia ming is so obvious... (haiz..) anyway.. i was astonished when i found out she knew.. when asked how she knew, she said she had always looked at my facial expression, whenever rachel, aloy, christina they all joked to me about jia ming.. and.. according to radhia, my face would blush... an di had those sort of guilty looks. haiz... i need not get bothered by others..
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haiz.. enough of the comical side.. haiz.. have something rather serious to talk about. haiz.. though im quite reluctant to say.. anyway.. haiz.. nowi dont feel like saying.. haiz.. k.. i dont be so indecesive.. kk.. haiz.. i shall start. haiz..
was studying math last night.. so boring.. my mind just wandered away... finally found the root to my depression. haiz.. well.. sad to say... haiz.. cuz i dont feel loved. its not nice loving someone so much, yet gaining nothing in the end. BUTBUTBUT, jia ming is notto be blammed... he had long told me le.. haiz... it's only my choice, whether i wish to love him anot.. despite how hard it is for me to stop liking him other than a senior.. haiz.. looks like this is to no end.. im going round and round... fighting a lost battle.. haiz.. or isit a forseen lost battle, or a lost battle which is history? haiz.. the answer is just how i think.. but i simply cant take it, at this kind of thinking, when i got up this morning.. haiz..
kelly, don't think so much. focuss on your studies.. haiz.. but.. its so hard to concentrate this days.. i notice that my liking for studies, even science has evaporated.. haiz.. i duno what im doing also lar.. haiz.. hopeless.
Savour Every Moment
