● ::::Final Year Exams:::: @ Tuesday, September 21, 2004 ●
found it extremly hard to study yesterday.... cuz im still too troubled and distressed about my science results, to study... haiz.. i had absolute no interest in studying, at the mere thought ofmy science results.. haiz.. just came to a realisation.. a slight relief to myself, yet it is still troubling thing... haiz.. i too paisei to say lar.. anyway.. went for my NAFA test just now.. a rather late one.. haha.. anyway.. ugh. found out that my muscles are getting weaker as i grow older.. i remembered, when i was pri 6, i could easily do at least 40 push ups, and 20 pull ups... today? ha.. reduced by half. 20 push ups and 4! haha... pull ups.. my muscle got tired.. pbut.. haha.. thats all right.. hee.. cuz girls arent meant to do such straining stuff right.. haha.. but my jump.. woot. haha.. was able to jump further.. cuz i took a different method of jumping.. but the cost is that it needs so much energy that my hair almost came loose.. haha..
i feel myself facing a dilemma.. wondering if im just heartless or what.. haiz.. can u believe it.. haiz.. i just came to realising that i think of someone who isnt a mere relative of mine, double the times than my mom.. whats this.. ugh.. haiz.. why?? am i just heartless for my mom?? haiz.. i think about him defitnetly once every 3 hrs.. excluding my sleeping time... haiz.. my mom? perhaps once every 3 days??? haiz.. reason being why i say im in a dilemma, s cuz im asking myself this qs: "is it a pro or a con for my mom not staying with me at the moment?" and i feel very troubled with this qs of mine..... for ages.. haiz.. haiz... what a mess... thats what i feel my life is like, at times... haiz...
was rather reluctant to listen MJ's lesson this morning.. looking at her face, talking about the subject exams, the word "science", will create my mind full of diappointment again.. haiz.. ya.. before i forget.. gave my dad my 3 papers to sign.. eng, math and sci paper.. as usual.. none of my parents scold me for my exams results de.. and.. they give me no stress at all.. but surprisingly, why a child will feel so much stress, when none is given to the child at all..
but mrs jacob finally got my attention in the science lab, when she mentioned about instruments, and air colummn thingy.. such as the clarinet and the piccolo... cuz she was looking at me.. so for the first time since yesterday (which felt like ages, cuz we always kept eye contact), i looked up into her eyes.. a mild surprise emerged from her normal look of seriousness and strictness..
mr mohan.. he's getting impatient and beginning to feel that my class is no longer tolearble.. haiz.. there was once in got so fed up with us for our late hw, that he stopped teaching and told us to complete it on the spot.. he said he duno if he cant complete the syllabus on time.. haiz... mrs jacob.. getting scarier le.. haiz.. anyway.. i will be getting my lit paper tmr.. haiz... so full of anxiety at the moment.. haiz..
a bad news......... haiz...... which led me feeling quite moody and bad mood.. haiz.. MJ gave us our final year exam schedule yesterday.. which i only read it carefully last night..
Eng paper 1 & 2:::::1 Oct (fri):::::
Chinese paper 1 & 2:::::2 Oct (sat):::::
=== 1 1/2 week break===
Math & History:::::14 Oct (Thur):::::
D&T & Literature:::::15 Oct (Fri):::::
Science::::18 Oct(Mon):::::
Art::::19 Oct(Tue)::::
BUT.. i did rather get all stressed up and study, instead of seeing my results... a rather coward person right? haiz.. but.. like what i always say.. Effort comes before success.. you need lots of effort and determination, in order to see the fruits. but.. in my case, i think i better study smartly. ;l
Savour Every Moment
