● @ Thursday, July 01, 2004 ●
MOnday night.. pretty sian lar.. cuz no hw.. as i had brought home my science tb.. so just study science lorh. but.. still quite a dull night... just read and memorise, while sms'ing..
Tuesday night.. hmm.. have some hw.. haiz.. quite busy actually.. haha.. had to do my hw... and.. to continue studying my science.. did everything till midnight. quite tempted to sms... but.. did not. haha..
Wednesday... haiz.. band practice.. haiz.. okie.. band practice lorh.. repaired a clarinet.. meanwhile... ms tan talk to the band.. haha. things got worst as time went on... more of the sian part lar.. played SOE... than Heatherwood... wrong spelling.. haiz.... than joseph.. that's went, ms tan got quite angry with the whole band.. overall.. ms tan spent most of her time talking lar.... band pract ended at 6pm.. haiz.. i played quite horribly... my tone was horrible....
was quite busy towards the end of the band practice.. could not recall what hold me up.. i guess it's qm stuff lar.. okie.. fall in, than fall out immediately... 6 plus would be the time most ppl leave the school... the whole clarinet section which was present that day, had to leave the school after 7pm.
Rachel dropped tanshin, joyce, radhia, myself, xuahui, vivian and amnita.. bascially, the whole clarinet section.. for setting up the clarinet when ms tan was talking. but... i remebered clearly that the saxophone ppl were also settin up mar.. buit i guesss rachel has not seen it.. cuz they were hiddden by the chairs. but.. it's all right lar.
haiz.. than... rachel, joyce, tanshin and maimmunah lectured all of us (radhia, me, vivian, xuan hui and amnita)... about our playing.. well.. joyce said that the sec ones, is left to our hands, and the the sec 2s, (us), are left to their hands.. haiz... i was wondering.. i'm aldready not that stable in my playing, still got to help ar? haiz... ownself in troubled waters liao... still must save someone else.. haiz.. anyway... felt very disgusted and ashamed with myself... haiz.... almost at the verge of crting liao.... haiz.. as i knew that i had made both tanshin and joyce very disapointed with me that day.. haiz... i've let them down yesterday.. haiz..
So.. ya. at the verge of crying liao... so.. haiz... well.... everyone of nus ended up crying.. actually.. i cried not cuz of their scoldings.... just cuz.. aiyah.. hard to explain.. but.. the thing here is that i had cried not due to their scoldings. haiz... joyce is really desperate.. haiz.. cuz.. she sai that prisc is a gone case liao.. haiz..
I FEEL that the sec 3s are always putting so much stress me.. haiz... extremly sian. cuz... prisc according to them, gone case liao..haiz.. radhia, playing too soft.. haiz... so what if i am the the best sec 2 clarinet player? my tone still sucks. haiz.... telling me tt im the best sec 2 player is no use.. so what? siao. but.. still feel quite stressed to strive better... haiz... mood was quite down.. haiz.... found out that my face was all red.. after the lecture... paisei.. haiz.... so.. i lingered outside longer, before gg home... haiz... felt quite down when returned home.. sms'ed t someone... glad to say that he had improved my mood a lot... i really appreciate it. thanks, jiaming!
haiz... really feel like being left alone... haiz.. duno y.. whenever im smsing to anyone else, other than jiaming, i will feel like it's a waste of money sms'ing them. haha.... well... while sms'ing to jiaming last night... tanshin sms'ed me.. telling me to cheer up.. giving me words of encouragement. touched about it.. no lar. jiaming was better. haha... that's what tanshin sms'ed me last night.. haiz... guess what...
tanshin sms'ed radhia, that she's the worst player... haiz..... radhia told me that.. haiz.. i was aghasted... haiz.... anyway.. prisc yesterday nvr come.. i was sitting next to her during mrning assembly.... i chose not to hurt her feelings.. so i did not tell her what joyce had said abt her.... and u noe what? Radhia told her that the seniors dislike priscilla cuz her attitude is atrocious. haiz... i guess i had not know what a great impact this has brought to priscilla.. haiz..
Cuz.. this statement... i've heard of it a million times liao... haiz.. sian liao.. haiz.. but.. of cuz.. i did not tell her.. in fact.. i've beginning to be a person, who does not really like to tell other ppl, what others had said abt them.. gd and bad. haiz.. sometimes right... im extremly sian... not say ive got nothing to do in this life... or im a happy go lucky perso or what. haiz.. than duno why.. so many ppl tell me their secrets. haiz... make me very sian.. haiz... so... keeping quiet is the best after all...
Anyway.. radhia told her during recess time.. than.... she cried. haiz... cuz of this.. she wanna quit the band... haiz.. her reason: "i cant stand all this anymore.." i dun think u noe what she's talking abt... but.. haiz.. i do.. too lazy to explain.. haiz..
i'm sick of all these craps.
Savour Every Moment
