● @ Friday, March 12, 2004 ●
hihihihi........ sian.... at e tots of havin so mani things to be done durin e holidayz..... Got to search for so mani things..... sian... todae went to McRitchie.... haha...... tiring... but i dis yr smart..... dun run so much... I'm not a competitive runner, so y muz i run so fast? Wad'z e hurry lorh.... Can take a stroll.. But i muz say, strolling in e forest isn't reali my type. haha.... so in e end, i still ran. *grins* *grins* But not as fast as last yr..... haha....
Aiyah.... So mani hw to do....Den still hef 2 read so mani bks... Muz read finish e Lit animal Farm bk, 2 k reviews, & 1 chinese bk by e end of dis March Holiday... haiz.... Writtin bk review is a simple task, provided i'm readin a rommance bk... Den, it will b a simple task. If it isn't, i will hef a nightmare readin it.. horrors.
Dis weekend is gonna b a tiring one.... Friday (todae), Cross Country. Saturday, make up lessons 4 e movie screening... Sunday, Ballon Hat Festival. Haiz.... so sian... Still gotta brainstorm 4 e whole grp (geog proj). Haiz..... i feel dat i'm overloading myself.... I everytime lika dat one.... When i'm e leader of e grp, i will hef dis tendency of doin' alot of thingz myself.... Givin veri little 4 otherz to do.... haiz...
But i raeli feel veri stressed up lorh.... I've aldready got enough hw, research & proj to do. AND ENOUGH BAND PRACT liao lorh..... Dun need 2 add more load one lorh.... I've got enough things to do durin e holidayz..... Dun worry teachers, i won't b dat free one lorh..... durin e holidayz... we hef enough hw to do... dun need to give us more hw one lorh.... Haiz.... i veri scared e teacher is gonna give us more hw tmr... haiz....
I veri sian, got to summarise all e reserch my grp members found.... i also haven't summarise finish lorh..... Sum of them still found irrelevant topics lorh! Our Project is Water Pollution, and not wad, land pollution! Ask them find, give me such wrk. Some onli lah.... Dis is wad i call, DO THE SAKE OF DOING IT. I want my grp memebers, to find, find properly. Dun give absolute irrelevant work lorh... totally out of point. I'm sure, it'z much much easier 4 them, 2 find me info abt water pollution on e net. Instead of being in my shoes, havin to read every single work of theirs, den later still hef 2 summarise it lorh. Haiz....
One girl even told me ' aie, i took a long time, to find one leh.' stupid lah. I dare to say like dat, cuz i'm 100% sure dat she won't visit my dis blog. "hahahaha"... If she feels dat juz takin 1 hr, findin such stuff is veri tiring & sian, well, i feel like askin her, den do u want to b in my shoes? Havin to read ur irrelevant work, den havin to summarise every single one work??!!!! Tell e truth lah, i hef not even complete raedin finish alll my 5 grp members wrk lorh.... & i dun hef much time left liao lorh....
Band pract has took up all of my time dis wk. So, i've got not enough time to raed & summarise finish. dat'z not all. Following dat, i still got to go & type out, & prepare my presentation. Haiz.... Den recently, i still hef 2 brainstorm on how to make e model for e geog proj. By e end of dis holidayz hef 2 pass up lorh..... haiz. Dat'z y, i kept tellin my grp memebrs. 'U all hef to go and do all e small parts in e model, urself. I can't be involved makin those small things in e model lorh'. If i make them. e work load is totally out of balance.
Honest.... The work load is aldready out of balance now liao lorh. I simply juz can't understand, y my my grp members r not able to make those smaller parts, without my help!! I'm gg to make e base of e model. The base is a far more complicated way of makin liao lorh..... Den y can't dey make iT????? whY?? Muz i alwayz b arnd? huh? without me, e grp cannot tink 4 themselves izzit???? Dis is drivin me nutz............. Need my guidance....... haiz..........
My results are actually better then i tot lah. haha.... haiz. I tot i would fail my chinese paper. But i did not. I passed. English is a little disappontment lah. I juz can't simply understand, y had Ms Ng consoled me in e first place lorh.......z makin me even more sad, aftr i get e paper! haiz. Science, i'm quite ok lorh.... But i'm disappointed dat i'm not able to achieve an A1 for my science paper. haiz.... But i'm considered quite gd in e class liao lah. haiz..... Literature, is a little surprsing. Cuz my part one, is 13/20. part 2 is 13/20 too. Hmm...... soso onli lah.... But i tot i would score worst.... Dis show how low self-esteem i hef. Dosen't it?
My msn msgr, is msngr plus. Mssenger plus automatically saves ur conversations lah. So juz recently, i looked at my past conversation. It raeli makes me feel even deppresed aftr lookin' at e chat. I feel guilty too. Cuz i've been tryin to ignore dis person 100% recently, durin band pract. But to no success. Cuz juz last sat, when he came back, i can't help but juz smilled at him. Haiz...... I guess i'm juz ignorin him completely, juz to prevent myself frm grief. But i guesss it onli makes me sadder, when i ignore him. haiz.... I thik i shall smile at him, e next time i see him. Haiz...... i want him to come online leh..... I reali wish to tell him sumthing. haiz..... But i guess i'm juz too embarresement to tell him. I think i would b totally be red in e face, if i were to tell him face to face.
Haiz.... I raeli want him to be online! haiz.... and i'm juz too angri wif my grp. Partly cuz of my fault too.... Cuz i'm juz such a too leinient leader liao. No wonder e Sec 4s did not chosed me as a IC dat day. Haiz..... Kelly is alwayz tooooooo leinient... haiz. But Kelly juz raeli can't helps it. I'm not those type of forced labour ppl. U noe.
In short, i reali feel EXTREMLY stressed up. and abit on e side of sad; deppress. Cuz of him. It'z alwayz up to u to think who dat guy is..... It might be you..... haiz. =( I raeli feel so *speechless*. haiz..................................... No mood.
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